Fly Towards The Moon Of Hope
by ShyMoonlight
Summary: Hermione had just witnessed the death of her two best friends on the last wizarding war, leaving her traumetized. That is until someone who has suffer the very same thing as her, comes and gives her hope. Will a hopeful love blossom?
1. Chapter 1: Prologue 'No longer caring'

Disclaimer: _Sadly…I do not own anything regarding Harry Potter. (-Sniff-)_

Hey everyone! ShyMoonlight here! XD This is my second Remus/Hermione story, hope you like it. BTW, read my other story staring this cute couple, "The Time on the Cinnamon Moon". Arigatou!

Description_: Hermione had just witnessed the death of her two best friends on the last wizarding war and that leaves her traumatized, feeling alone and not a drop of happiness left in her. That is until someone who has suffer the very same thing as her comes and begins to get closer to her, as well as other surprises.. A story filled with romance and angst that your love. _

Story: Fly Towards the Moon of Hope

Chapter 1: No Longer Caring

_"HARRY…RON!" _

_She watched as her two best friends were hit by a green light and fell on the ground, lifeless…motionless…dead…_

_A piercing scream escaped her lips as she pulled on her own hair in act of complete and utter pain…she fell unceremoniously on her knees on the ground…besides other countless of dead bodies…on the battle field. She sobbed…she screamed…but nothing seamed to take the pain of loss away…_

_"Harry…Ron, don't die…just don't…die…please…" she sobbed desperately, punching the ground with great fierce…_

- - - - - - -

Hermione woke up, sweating and gasping for air…her heart was hurting again…just like it had done that day…that horrible day…She felt her heart, like if it was bleeding on the inside…pouring pure acid…

And all thanks to another nightmare…a nightmare she had passed through real life and know had to pass it through…every damn night!

She passed a hand through her still damp hair. A sigh escaped her lips…if only she could forget about that day…if only she could forget about that had happened and ended with lost ones…if only she could forget about death itself…

Their death had made a big and negative effect on her…she had change…she no longer smiled as often as she did…she no longer felt happiness…only miserable…

She sometimes wished that instead of Harry and Ron, she had died…and believe it, she had tried countless of time…but death, to her, did not give in so easily. Instead she was left with the scars in her wrist…the memories of longing for death…

She could remember the first time she had done it…the silver knife…the sudden fiery pain…the blood trickling on her wrist and into the floor…Of course, no one knew about her attempts…those were one of those dark secrets she usually kept to herself…

Taking a glance at the calendar she saw that today was the 1st of September…the first day to her final year at Hogwarts. She had debated with herself of why she should not go, but in the end she found herself buying her new schoolbooks…she knew that Ron and Harry would have wanted for her to finish school and fulfill her dreams…

With one last depressing sigh, she got up of bed to get ready for what appeared to be one agonizing year…

- - - - - - -

Remus Lupin walked down the halls of the Hogwarts 9/3 train, trying to find a compartment for himself. Students were slowly recovering from the loss of the war…he saw it in their eyes. He knew many of them had lost loved ones…just like he had many years ago…but nevertheless they smiled, happy cause the wrath of Voldemort was long gone…thanks to his defeat…thanks to three brave adolescence…and only one had survived…

He sighed…there wasn't any compartment that was empty…all except one. A pale and skinny girl –no, a young woman- was sited all alone in this specific compartment. She was all dressed in black and with matching gloves covering part of her wrists. And even though he had not recognized her at first, he did…cause he only knew one girl who had wild brown curly hair…

"Can I sit here, Hermione?" he asked, as he slid open the compartment door.

She awoke from her thoughts and looked up to see him, smiling kindly at her. "Professor Lupin?" she murmured to herself, but as she saw him standing and waiting for her response, she nodded as a reply.

A small, insignificant smile appeared for only a momentarily time on her lips as he sat in front of her.

Hermione watched him only for a while, before turning back to look outside the window…watching the clouded sky…She wondered whether Lupin was here for the vacant DADA position?

Meanwhile, Remus observed Hermione…she appeared to be sick. But who could blame her, when she had just witnessed her best friends death only a couple of months ago. But still…there was something that bothered him deeply…and it was how the spark that once she held on her hazelnut eyes…no longer appeared to be there…only a shade of darkness…

They didn't speak for the rest of the trip…and so along silence fell upon them…

- - - - - - -

Hermione whispered a small goodbye as she and Professor Lupin parted their ways, each heading to their respective tables.

She sat on her Gryiffindor table…noticing that the only ones missing were Harry, Ron and…Ginny. Apparently, Ginny was still in St.Mungo's due to a serious injury…in a desperate attempt, she had tried to save Harry from a spell, but she ended gravelly ill… and more when she found out about her brother and boyfriend death…

Dumbledore got up from the professors table to start his usual start of semester speech…and for the first time Hermione didn't cared…until he got to a still touchy part…

"…I hope you'll spend this year pleasantly as always, remembering those who have parted away from the living world. I deeply regret the deaths of Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley…"

Hermione's hand bawled into a fist as she heard Dumbledore's speech…she still couldn't bear to hear Harry's nor Ron's name…

"…They died as heroes, protecting those who were weak, protecting everyone from the darkness of Lord Voldemort…"

Her fingers dugged on her flesh…she could feel blood on her hand. If only Dumbledore would stop talking.

"…I know all of you will never forgot these heroes your fellow classmates…"

Tears were threatening to spill…she gulped down the need to scream. "_Please Dumbledore…stop_" she thought pleadingly.

"…But nevertheless it is best to always remember the good times instead of the bad ones, because those are the memories we tend to hold dear to our hearts…"

A tiny sob escaped her lips, as tears began spreading all over her face. How could she make him stop? She didn't wanted to think of them…she didn't…it just hurt to much.

"…And so, a word of advice: Do not ever regret the death of a love one, because maybe that was what they were destined to do…"

Hermione stood up, making everyone to turn to look at her. Even Dumbledore, including the teachers, were taken quite a little by her sudden outburst…especially to see her looking so miserable yet mad.

The only one who actually noticed her tears was Remus Lupin…and he could understand the reason of them…he had passed the same thing as her…the depression…

She walked towards the exit of the Great Hall and then ran towards her common room. For the first time she didn't cared what they think of her…she didn't give a damn. For the first time she didn't cared about anything…

- - - end chapter 1 - - -

Authors note: _Well I hope you liked this chapter filled with angst…though not romance. But I assure you that in later chapter everything will change for Hermione as romance begins to bloom, giving her hope…NOW PLEASE REVIEW! XD BTW, in this story nothing that happens in book six appears. In other words, Dumbledore is alive, Remus isn't with Tonks and Voldemort is killed on their sixth year..._


	2. Chapter 2: Memories Resurface

Disclaimer: _Harry Potter me don't own…_

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Story: Fly Towards the Moon of Hope

Chapter 2: Memories Resurface

Excited chattering filled the Great Hall as every student gathered to eat breakfast on his or her first day of classes. Everyone were sitting in groups, talking happily on how their summer went or how marvelous life was without Voldemort; Everyone except for her. On the end of the Gryffindor table sat Hermione…alone as usual. So alone, that in fact, it seemed that her life would be lonely from now on.

She didn't dared to talk with anybody and no one dared to talk with her…not even the ghosts, it was as if they were scared that her newly acquired bad luck (and loneliness) would rub on them. She didn't mind though, alone she felt at peace, no one was there to question her what she had witnessed in the war.

A sigh escaped her lips as she looked down at her plate filled with food. Bacon, egg, and toast. She wasn't hungry, plus this food didn't appetized her greatly…nothing did…one of the reasons of why she had grown so abnormally thin. Though, someone with an endless stomach wouldn't argue with his appetite, he would eat it, even if he didn't liked it. Someone like Ron…

Immediately, a memory blinded her vision…her mind, and she could see herself sitting in the Gryffindor table, but this time, along with Ron and Harry. Ron, as usual, was stuffing his face with every food he could gulp down. With a frown, she told him off. "Ron, remember your manners!" she pointed out. Only to be responded by the redheaded himself, sending a smug smile at her, syrup over his lips. Harry, sitting besides her, couldn't help but laugh quietly…and even though Hermione found Ron repulsively stubborn, she also joined in with their laughter.

"I love you guys." she said through her giggling. "As we also do." they responded in a chorus. She smiled, but as she blinked the image was long gone, and she found herself again at the table alone. "God, I miss you guys" she whispered to herself and her solitude.

A knot formed in her throat, and tears blinded her sight. How she wished someone would comfort her…Harry and Ron especially. She gulped, composing herself, for she could not bear the fact of crying in front of everyone. Trying to get rid of the memory, which had made her feel so hollow, she placed a spoonful of scrambled eggs. To her, it tasted like cardboard, as it went down slowly through her throat, when she gulped.

"Miss Granger" spoke a voice behind her.

She gulped, unwillingly, the residue of eggs that was still in her mouth, before she turned around, to meet this person who had interrupted her, through her torture of eating. There she was, Professor McGonagall, in all her glory, with her stern face, her usual professor's robe, and her lopsided hat, covering her graying hair tied in a bun.

"Yes, professor" responded Hermione.

Professor McGonagall began searching her papers, till she found the one she was looking for and handed it to the girl in front of her. "This is this years schedule," she said in a matter-of-fact voice. "As you see, Miss Granger, I took the liberty in eliminating some of the classes, in which you were doing exceptionally good, so that you wouldn't have be too handful this year. I wish you would find it comftable to your liking. That is all," then in a softer tone added. "Have a good morning, Miss Granger." And by that she walked away, handing the schedules to other Gryffindors.

Hermione was in shock. Why did the professor eliminated some of her classes? Oh, right, because she was incapable of doing to much homework, since her fragile mind could not help her. She rolled her eyes. Bullshit. She didn't want anyone pitying her. What did they think she was? Five? A frown was planted on her lips as she looked at her schedule. Only 4 classes and a long free time.

"I don't need any free time" she mumbled under her voice, as she got up, leaving a forgotten breakfast and walked away of the Great Hall, to her first class.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Look there's Granger. The one who ran out yesterday."

"Whoa, she looks like one of the living dead."

"I wonder if she misses her friends."

"Yeah, what it must be like?"

"I heard that she wants to die."

"Really? I didn't expected that from a bookworm."

Those were some of the fragments of conversation Hermione could catch as she walked towards Potions, her final class of the day. So far, the first classes were surprisingly boring, the teachers were disappointed for her lack of participation, but they didn't bother her. On the other hand the students were gossiping of her all day and but she ignoring them, just like she was doing now. No one still didn't dare to talk with her, not even walk besides her, but they did dared on talking behind her back. Some friends they were, even some of them were from Gryffindor.

It hurt, some of the comments they made, but she kept her head up high, not wanting to satisfy them with her tears.

She stepped into the dungeons only to be stopped by the wall that made her tripped against it. It wasn't a wall…to her bad luck, it was the Slitherin blonde, Draco Malfoy. "Excuse me." She said through clenched teeth.

Malfoy smirked. "Well, well, who do we have here? The Gryffindor mudblood."

"Excuse me." She spoke again, more loudly this time. If Harry and Ron were here they would have already kicked his pure-stinking-blood arse. No she mustn't think of them, she might cry in front of Malfoy…she had to protect the dignity she had left. So, with bravery, she passed besides him, hitting his shoulder along the way, surprised that he hadn't stopped her. He kept in the entrance, laughing with his cronies.

She sat in front of the line like always, even if she no longer paid attention to the class. Only this time, she didn't had a partner…her partners usually were Harry or Ron, but they weren't here. Plus, no one dared to sit with her. The bookworm freak.

Professor Snape entered the dungeon, his usual black robes slithering behind him and his usual greasy hair still as he walked. Without even greeting properly the class, he started speaking. "Today we'll be making the memory potion. And no Mr. Malfoy it isn't nothing like the veritaserum. Can anyone tell me what is the memory potion main purpose?"

No one spoke, and surprisingly for everyone neither did Hermione. Snape raised his eyebrows and turned to her, "Miss Granger?" She just bowed her head and looked at her quill and parchment. She knew the answer by heart, but she couldn't find a way to say it.

"Seems like the cat got her tongue." Spoke the recognizable voice of Malfoy. At this comment the Slitherin laughed.

"Enough," spoke Snape, then turning to Hermione said, "Fine, ten points from Gryffindor" He then did a wave with his wand and letter forming sentences and fragments appeared in the chalkboard. "The ingredients and proper instruction are on the board. You have only 20 minutes to prepare it, so hurry up!"

Hermione's face was hot and red, from anger and embarrassment. Even if Snape was on the good side, he still was a greasy moron. She passed a hand through her wavy hair and began preparing the potion. It was an easy and simple potion, only needed some newts tongue, troll mucus, a phoenix feather and other insignificant things. But sometimes, she found that it was hard to grab the bottles. Her black gloves made it slippery…she couldn't take it off…they would see her scars. Once she added the pinch of mandrake powder, the potion turned a crystal clear color. It was finished. She sighed, the potion only took her ten minutes to do it…after all she didn't have the constant nagging for help that Neville used to provide her, after all he too was in St.Mungo…and apparently his grandmother didn't want him to return to Hogwarts. If he was here, he would have at least tried to make her company…he was too kind.

She shrugged of the thought, and peered in the cauldron, at the swirling liquid. It suddenly turned red, a bloody red. Screams were heard from it, agonizing screams. Faces came into view, corpses all around the ground. But more than that, the smell of blood filled her, making her feel sick and dizzy. She started screaming, and in an attempt to stop it all, she pushed the cauldron, spilling the potion. But still, blood oozed from it. She screamed clutching her hair, but it didn't stop…and on her knees she fell, blood staining her robes.

"Miss Granger!" barked Snape, grabbing her shoulders and lifting her up, from the cold floor. "Look what you did, you spilled the potion all over the floor! 20 points from…"

He stopped short once he saw her pale and scared face. The memory potion, he thought. Snape looked at the floor to see it spilled all over. Realization kicked in. He needed to get her out; whatever she was seeing was driving her crazy. "Go to the infirmary" he told her and she immediately ran out, the students murmuring to themselves in shocked. For the second time she had run away…

Hermione needed to get out of the blood, and once she stepped out of the dungeons she vomited on the floor. She fell on her knees feeling weak, as vomit still escaped her mouth. Once she stopped, she wiped her lips clean, with her trembling hand, scared and disgust that what had left her mouth was also blood. The irony of it all, she cut herself freely, to die, but she couldn't stand seeing blood in front of her...especially if it belong to somebody else.

With a wave of her wand, she cleaned the floor were her disgust was released and sat on the cold floor, resting her back against the brick wall. Thank goodness, no one was in the corridor, no one had seen her.

She placed her knees against her chest, wrapping them with her arms, to rest her head in them and whimper. She should have known better than to look at the potion. That potion brought the recent most permanent memory one might have. To her it showed her the night of the war, the night that Harry and Ron left her. She was stupid for looking. The first day of classes was already ruined and she couldn't bear to think what the future had in store for her.

"Miss Granger?" spoke a soft husky voice, followed by footsteps.

She raised her head to look into the face of worried Professor Lupin. He kneeled before her, looking her in the eye. Grayish blue eyes locked with light honey brown eyes. "Are you all right?" he asked.

Hermione looked down, breaking their gaze. "Yes" she whispered.

"Of course you're not well. Look your pale," He placed a hand on her forehead. "And cold." He murmured. "You should go to the infirmary, what happened to you?"

"Nothing." She replied and stood up, steadying herself against the wall for support…she was a lot dizzier than she thought she was. "Thank you, professor." And by that she walked away hoping he wouldn't notice through her calm façade. The one she could muster only in front of everyone, but not to herself.

Meanwhile, Lupin still was in the same spot she was in before. He knew she was lying, he knew she was through hard times…she didn't wanted to admit it, nor talk with anyone about it. She was like he had been, in every way. He looked around and saw the potions dungeon. He might have to have a talk with Severus on why she was outside his class, as pale as chalk.

- - - end chapter 2 - - -

Author Note: _Thanks to all of those who kindly took the time to review this story! LOVE YOU ALL! Anyhow, sorry for my tardy update, I'm grounded and so far the only story that I have been able to update is 'The time on the cinnamon moon'. I want to finish that one before I start updating this one frequently. I need lots of review to pump me up for the next chapter, so everyone who reads this story PLEASE REVIEW! XD_


	3. Chapter 3: Voices Inside

Disclaimer: _I don't own Harry Potter...sadly. Anyhow, just wanted to let you know, that I'm back, after the critical writer's block I had. I hope you continue on reading my stories, and ask you forgiveness for my tardiness. So, enjoy this chapter and review._

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Story: Fly Towards the Moon of Hope

Chapter 3: Voices Inside

Hermione drank the potion Madam Pomfrey, cringing at the awful, salty and sour taste it had. As the nurse had told her, she could sleep dreamless tonight, plus get rid of the sickening feeling she still had at the pit in her stomach. She wanted very much to feel at least her 'normal' self. She gulped down the last drop and set the bottle on her bedside table. With a sigh, she fell unceremoniously on her bed, closing her eyes, as the potion began to take it's told.

Her arms fell on either side of her, outstretched in the mattress. Her wrists were bandaged, the stain of red in them. Blood. She did it again, cut herself that is. She always did it when she felt depressed…alone…hurt…numb…she wanted to feel, at least alive. But it came with a price, the act she did, her marks were long and deep, and by now, not even magic could conceal them.

It was a good thing that this year she had been selected as Head Girl, and even if at first she didn't wanted the position, she felt grateful. Nobody would see her do the unforgetful sin, no one would ask were the scars came from, no one would watch her as if she was crazy. The only downside she found in this was that she had to share a common room with Malfoy (who had been selected as Head Boy too) and one bathroom. Still, he didn't pay to much attention to her, so that was good too.

She shifted sideways, careful to not hurt herself more, to look at the picture she had on her bedside. She was there with Harry and Ron, her friends, the famous trio. The picture moved and Harry winked and Ron waved, she smiled wider. Hermione sighed as tears trickled down her cheeks. "Goodnight" she whispered, an with a small smile, she drifted away to sleep soundless.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Snape, can I have a word with you?" asked Lupin, over dinner.

Snape turned to him, frowning. "What is it, Lupin?" he sneered, as he placed his spoon down on his plate.

"I just want to ask you, what happened to Miss Granger this morning at your class?"

"Why do you ask, it isn't any of your concern to what happens in my class."

Damn Snape. "I need to know. I found her at the corridor, pale as chalk, crying and…"

Snape raised his hand to silence him. "If I tell you, will you shut up?" he said. Lupin nodded, glad that his former classmate was willing to speak. "If you must know _I_ was teaching my class how to make the memory potion and when Miss Granger finished hers, she happened to look in it. It seems she saw something painful."

Lupin frowned. He could easily guess what she saw. "Thank you," he said to Snape, who in return, gave him a cold glare.

A sigh escaped Lupin's mouth as he looked over at the Gryffindor table. He could not see her bushy hair anywhere. "Are you looking for Miss Granger?" spoke a voice besides him at the table.

He turned around to see the knowing blue eyes of the headmaster. Lupin nodded silently, shy that he was caught in the act. Dumbledore smiled. "Your worried about her, aren't you?"

Lupin nodded again. "Yes, I'm worried. Very much. After all, she is passing through the same thing I passed years ago. She's alone."

"It seems so," said Dumbledore, rubbing his bear thoughtfully. "Don't worry about her now, though. Madam Pomfrey told me she send her straight to her room with a sleep potion. She was quite shaken up."

"I hope she's doing fine." Murmured Lupin.

Dumbledore smiled and spoke, the recognizable twinkle in his eyes. "Why don't you get closer to her? Be her friend. Help her."

Lupin raised his eyebrows. "Isn't that against the rules? Have a favorite student?"

"Yes, but only if you see it that way."

- - - - - - - - - -

The sound of birds chirping and the sunlight peering through her window woke Hermione up.

She stretched her arms and winced, making her remember what she had done the previous night. Sitting on her bed, she undid the bandage and looked at her new scabs. Swollen, red colored from infection. She muttered a spell and new bandages wrapped her wrists. With carefulness, she slipped her black gloves on. The sound of a door closing reached her ears. "That must be Malfoy." She thought, as she dressed up for another day of classes.

- - - - - - - - - -

Hermione walked down the stairs heading for her first class, when something reached her ears.

"Hermione" Someone called.

She turned her head sideways, she knew that voice. Harry's.

"Hermione" She turned the other way, a shock expression on her face. Ron's.

"Hermione!" She was suddeanly feeling dizzy, she sat on the stairs placing her head in her hands. "Hermione, Hermione, Hermione…"

"HERMIONE!"

"Stop it!!" she screamed, lifting her tear-stained face.

Professor Lupin was looking straight at her, a shocked look in his face. She blushed and stood up…for a second time he had seen through her façade…breaking down. With her head bend down, she ran past him and towards the Hogwarts ground.

The wind slapped her face and she fell on her knees in the grass, throwing the books all over, not caring if they broke. She covered her face with her trembling hands. What was happening to her? Did the blood of loss finally took its toll?

"Hermione!" The voice was still bothering her, when suddenly someone got hold of her elbow.

She yanked away, only to be lifted by the shoulders. "Miss Granger!" called an urgent voice. Hermione opened her eyes to gaze into Professors Lupin light brown eyes. "What happened?!"

She gulped and closed her eyes, trying to calm herself. "Nothing, sir. I just got confused…"

He raised an eyebrow. "Don't lie. Something happened" Then in a softer tone he added. "Please tell me."

"I already said it was nothing." And by that she got herself out of her professor's grasp and without another word, walked rapidly towards the castle, as if nothing had happened.

- - - - - - - - - -

Lupin sat in his DADA classroom, waiting for his seventh year class to come. He wondered if Hermione was doing all right. Why was she acting this way? So stubborn? The doors opened and he jerked away from his thought, as the Slitherin and Gryffindor poured in, taking their respective seats. "Good afternoon class." He called over their chatering. They all replied the same. A frown appeared on his face. As he suspected, Hermione was no where in sight. "Where is Miss Granger?" he asked casually.

"We haven't seen her, professor." Replied Lavender frowning.

Professor Lupin sighed and passed a hand through his brown hair. Just as he had suspected it.

- - - - - - - - - -

Once class ended, Lupin called Malfoy apart. The slitherin walked towards him, a usual annoyed look on his face.

"Mr. Malfoy." Spoke first Lupin, breaking through a silence that had enveloped them. "Can you do me a small favor?"

Malfoy shrugged. "I might as well, since you already called me apart." He said annoyed.

Lupin managed to smile kindly, handing him a some papers. "Could you give this to Miss Granger."

"Why should I?" Asked Malfoy, scowling, but nevertheless taking the papers. "It isn't like she's my friend or something."

"I know she isn't," replied Lupin frowning. "But since you're head boy, can you at least do that simple task?"

"Might as well, _professor_."

- - - - - - - - - -

Malfoy entered the head's common room, mumbling unintelligent things under his breath. He was quite pissed for having to serve as a servant to a mudblood. Why should he? He went upstairs, towards the room and knocked. No sound…he knocked again…no movement…he knocked for a third time.

"Dammit, Granger! I'm getting impatient!" He called angrily. "Open the godamn door or I'll open it."

A moment of silence and then he heard it. Sobbing, crying, sniffing. Taking a deep breath to calm down his anger, he opened her bedroom door. And there she was, lying on her bed, her head covered by her pillow, still with her school robes. "Granger?" Spoke Malfoy, close to her bed.

"Leave me alone." Came her muffled response.

Malfoy moved closer and touched her shoulder. "Granger? Come on, stop whining."

She sniffed and lifted her head. "I'm not whining!" Then she faced him, showing her tear-stained face. "And what are you doing here? To make fun of me?" She asked, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

"For your information I came here to give this to you. The assignment Professor Lupin send you." Said Malfoy, resting the papers at the end of her bed.

"I don't need anyone's help!" Hermione stubbornly shouted.

He scoffed and walked towards the door, stopping midway. "Do me a favor? Stop whining and go to the classes. I won't be an errand boy every time you decide to start whining." He turned to her and gave her a glare. "I wasn't helping you, by the way, I was 'ordered' to give this to you."

And by that he fierce fully closed the door behind him.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. Since when he talked to her more than two words? Since when he asked her for a 'favor'? And since when did he think she would do as he says? She wiped a stray tear and rested her head on her bed. She wondered what would Ron and Harry say. Would they raised their wands to Malfoy?

Still…he hadn't called her a mudblood.

- - - end chapter 3 - - -

Authors Note: _Well, here we have it. Long enough, no? Anyhow, here's my new blog site: __**readmyfic . blogspot . com. **(It's with space, because it's a site) Feel free to visit and leave comments! There I will be updating stuff, and people who like to write can interact. _


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